The last several days I have been trying to focus on completing medical exams for Gary, the children & myself. It has been hard to stop and work on any paperwork for our adoption. Much of my time I had been worrying so much about Little Chrissie that I could not seem to get anything done. There are dishes in the sink lefted undone, clothes needing washing, and calls to return. I decided to stop load the children in the car and go looking for some flowers to plant. Hole by hole I dug, I guess digging out my worries and frustrations. Little by little I added in some potting soil, a little water to help them with a good start to grow.
One by one carefully the little flowers were added in. The kids carefully handled them like newborn kittens trying to keep from breaking their tiny stems. How fragile can life be I thought to myself. Many tears and emotions inside and I had just had to sit and pray. In the middle of my front yard there I sat covered in dirt, plants everywhere, children digging holes through out the yard. Here I sat a middle-age woman adopting another child just a crying. I had to cry and cry some more. Knowing that yes it is all up to God to help this little child. This is where our faith must be strong and handed everything over to the Lord. I just had to take the time to refocus from worrying and letting God take over.
Being a mother, a parent this has been the hardest part of my life. Yet the most happiness part. .
