Sleepless night and early morning here

I didn't sleep much last night and up early this morning.

Today was the first day of school for the Patrick and Makayla. They both woke excited and up at 4:00am on their own and ready to go. I had the clock set for 5:30 am but they were eager to head off to school.
I felt like crying as they headed out the doors.  You think by now I would get use to school and goodbyes with my children. Two of my older sons are over seas, one in the middle of a war and the other doing a mission trip.  Our other older children  are spread all over the US.  As a mother it is so sad to see your children grow up and head in different directions. I am so very proud of each one of them and their goals in life. Each of my children are different from one another.  One is a chef, a soldier, a wife and mother, missionary, a dancer.  But in each of them they carry the hearts of gold and will help anyone they can. 

My youngest grandson Leonardo I keep in my prayers and in my heart.  I wish I could hold him and let him know his grandma loves him all so much. My arms ache to hold him near and kiss his sweet little head.
When I was younger I dreamed of being a mother.  I would dress and undress my baby dolls and kiss them to sleep. How simple life was then and being a pretend momma.  As I age I notice then through out my stages of motherhood each step more challenging and at times difficult.  Making very tough decisions and sticking by them. I can not tell you how many bandages and kisses on boo-boos over the years.  If only life could be cured with a bandaid and a kiss.

I feel guilty I have not yet fundraised for my daughters.  Most of my time devoted in prayers for my friend's children and now my grandbaby boy. God will guide me as he has in the pass. I pray also to find the comfort I need at this moment to make good decisions and be pointed in the right direction.  Alot of parents are in the same situtation as ours trying to find a way to bring their children they are adopting home. Finances are the biggest worry to families.  And with surprise medical espenses, broken AC's, dishwashers this is only an obstacle holding many families back from their dreams. I pray for every family like ours with both medical on children and finances..

I need to vent for the moment and hand it all over to the Lord and pray..