Venting

Yesterday as I wrote about our daughter Makayla my thoughts were about suggestions from another mother on what she thought was best for my daughter.  Knowing her brain tumors are in operatorable tumors and trying to explain to her also there is not a lot we could do at this moment but wait.  As I mention radiation was to be our next step.  I am not a fond lover of radiation treatments and preventive therapy only when the time arises to where there is no other choice.  I mention in prior postings of my husband Tim who died of a terminal illness and his next following steps were radiation therapy which took his life sooner and he suffered during his treatments.  Radiation is not for all cases for tumors or diseases.  As you may notice through my blog I do not place in detail all medical on my children.  It is that I do not block their illness or medical problems it is that I have learn to accept their illness.  I also daily manage in their care and I also research and rely on our team of doctors on what steps to take.  Most people do not understand it is not good to pity or show pity for an illness. I try as a mother to let my children place trust in first our LORD then their DOCTORS.  Our Lord with his kindness and wisdom has planned a path for each of us.  Some times our paths are not meant to be easy steps and we must daily be thankful for everything even if it is a day of pain.  Should our Lord chose us to live a life in pain it is for us to accept and ask for strength.  I pray for my children that there be a miracle but so many miracles have occur for each of our children.  First in finding our children through adoption we were able to assist them with their medical, next make each of their lives more comfortable.  And most of all let them know they are loved.  When I first met Makayla I never once thought in my mind of her dying just her having a family and Gary and I her parents.  It is not easy for any parent to know that the outcome on their children's medical end in death.  But we must remember these children are GOD'S CHILDREN.  Even though we are their parents by birth or adoption we are their for their guidance and to give them love. 

Enough on illlness and diseases  for each day should be filled with love, faith and trust that everything will be in God's plan.  For I am blessed to be the mother of each of my children even on days I have to hide to cry.  Adopting both Braska and Zach is not because I feel I am saving these children. I feel inside that they need a mother and I am there mother. Choosing to raise a child with an illness is not a choice taken likely.  Nor am I trying to over load my  plate of responsibility.  Daily I have a routine and whether it goes as plan or not I some how manage to get everything done and with time left over to spare.  Growing up from a large family as a child I have the tools I learned to feed and manage time.  Most women my age are retired or grandmothers and chose not to be mother's of young children.  I have always enjoyed day to day spending tie with my children or completing myself as a person to care for a disable child for attention. Believe me I receive enough attention as it is from the children we have.  I am covered in kisses and hugs each day.  There is never a minute there is not some laughter or someone around that loves to express their dreams or happiness. Even when the children are ill they always seem to still smile and laugh.  I try to make sure my children do not fear the unknown for in our home unknown is just a challenge from the devil.  I have never been afraid of SATAN.  Or what SATAN may or may not do.  For there is our Lord who is more powerful than all the pain and suffering that the devil may deliver.  I daily stomp out the devil as he tries to enter into our home in prayer.  I pray knowing this through my faith things will smooth and life will continue.  But continue in a loving stable home.

On this beautiful Memorial Day I pray for everyone who has lost a family member and for the Veterans that fought for our Freedom.  May we all give thanks for those brave men and women who have given their life as our Lord as done for us. May we not forget just who gave us life and ay we cherish it to the last minute.

God Bless American
and may God Bless each country who leaders fight for their freedom.
May we all live in Peace and Love on this Memorial Day