I try not to worry, but I do, no matter their ages I am their mother and I worry. My son Micheal is in the Phillipines still, and at the moment in Manilla helping care for his girlfriend Mae's sister's 3 children. Mae's sister's husband has cancer and is dying. Mae's sister tries to care for her dying husband but her little ones also need her.
This reminds me of when my husband Tim was dying.. I had 4 young children that needed their mother, but yet I had to care for my husband. Each day I guess I floated through the days. Little or no sleep some nights. I worked, I care for the children, went to the hospital and back to work. I worked two jobs, because I needed the money to pay the bills. Hard to run a home on one income and medical bills were adding up. I still have to wash my face with cold water to realize these days are over. I was determine to keep my family together. Death is not a part of life no one enjoys. My husband died a few days prior to Christmas and I promise him I would through his words of encouragement make a difference in the life of others. Tim loved his children as mich as I did. He would have loved his grandchildren and knowing his children grew into beautiful caring adults he should be proud of each of them. I know that I am very proud of my children.
As you can tell this photo of me is not the best, I sat up for several days knowing my son was leaving again and not knowing when he would return. Hard to let go when you children grow up when you're a mother. My son 24 years old, I remember him as a baby so it is hard to say goodbye for this time apart. It has been 21 years this year since the death of his father Tim. And so much in my life has changed, I have remarried and adopted two children. In the months ahead we will be adopting our girls Ava-Marya & Little Cookie.
Yes I will also worry about them and at the moment I wonder just what they are doing. Hard to explain to others just what it feels like to adopt, have children and to love a child. No words can express the love I have inside for my children. I am truly blessed to have children and to be loved by my children and now grandchildren .
This last week my youngest grandson arrived into this world almost 4 months early. Each night I pray for him and ask God to watch over him as he grows. I ask Tim to please send an angel to hold him in their arms to protect him from harm as I do for my other children and grandchildren. As fragile as life can be, it can be removed as it came to this earth. My prayers are many, worries are many and the tears never stop being a mother.
