My little Son Patrick

My Son Patrick off to a rough week.  His little leg started shaking and would not stop. At first we thought of this as a simple twitch but this twitch went to become where there is no control of movement in his leg, Patrick weighs only 49 pounds and almost age 11 years. He is about the size of  a 6 year old. Patrick was lefted an orphan weighing under 1 pound in an orphanage in Ukraine.  We first met Patrick at age 2 years weighing 9 pounds.  Imediately I knew in my heart he is my son. After arrival in the US Patrick was admitted into the hospital for 3 weeks. During this period of time my son fought for his small life and I stayed and fought right beside him.  I was not giving up on my son for I know he is a fighter. I love Patrick with all of my heart. I know alot of adopted mother say the same thing, but in my heart it is filled with a love with him, words can not express my love.

My name was suppose to have been Patrick, but then I came out a girl and my name was given to my father's brothers first son.  Knowing one day I would have children I would use this name.  But with each of my own birth children I chose their names to fit them.  When I saw Patrick I knew in my heart his name was to be Patrick.  The next days to follow will be filled with many tests. I am nervous and afraid, I am trying to hand this worry to God, but at this moment it is all so hard.

This was was suppose to be filled with fundraising but as usually my life is never as planned. I am so upset with myself.  And during this time I need it to raise funds but my mind is filled with worry. I just do not know why I feel I am tested with obstacles again and again. I seem to be alway's fighting to get things done.  I see where so many other families are able to raise funds, but not me.  I try to keep my children safe and well.. But I know I can not predict or prevent.  I need some guidance once again from God to be led to what path to take.  I am saying a pray for my son Patrick and akso for our little one in Bulgaria. May God watch over the both of them as I also ask for my other children.. So very hard to be a mother and even at my age it seems even harder.