My little guy

Oh my little guy was so forward looking for Thanksgiving and turkey.  Well this will have to wait a few extra days or maybe next month.  Tommorrow it is off back to the doctors for MRI"S and CT'S of the brain.  His seizures have gotten worse.  His arms are having some difficulties and his face is showing some signs. I just can not believe this is happening.  Just a little over a week ago I was in Bulgaria visting our adopted daughter to  be and today he is seizuring. We were told probably because of his CP or Aspergers.  Hoping for some answers so we can move forward on a treatment plan.  Very hard to watch him shake like this.  Very scarey for a mother to watch her child cry in pain.  I was suppose to be fundraising this next month but how?? I prayed and ask God for guidance on sponsors but now I am praying once again for now my son to get better.  I will find away to get everything done. I can not let my son nor my little daughter Christiana down. I do not have time to cry, for I want to so bad. My head is aching from being on the phone with insurance companies.  Finding out our primary pediatric doctor service with Cigna endedon 10-12-2010 and found out today,  while waiting for a referral.  As a mother I got on the phone and stuck to my guns. As paying in premiums of over $900.00 plus dollars a month we found a advenue to have our doctor back on our plan.  There are no ped-doctors in our area that can treat him so our plan has to cover him and the other children.  Medical bills have began to add up  and I do not care. I will pay $5.00 each month to keep them in good standings till they are resolved from out of network back to our original signed plan from our employers.  How can 20% of your paycheck go to insurance and a company not cover an illness that is in their plan?  I have sat and reread the fine writing in our policy and in found in a cause if a provider is not able then the policy will accept an out of network provider as a primary provider. And in a life threatening condition the patient will receive medical coverage under the plan.  So then our son and other children will still be covered in this plan or $10,800.00 a year and office co-pays of $20.00 each. Being we have a child each week at teh doctor fro something or another and sometimes two kids we spend and average of $100.00 a month on co-pays or $1200 a year not counting RX's of 8 or more per child, that is 24 Rx's per month for a special needs family of 3 children.  Oh my.. medical costs to keep a child well at high..   This is where most of our money goes keeping are children well.  So much for venting my anger tonight. I am thankful for my children sick or well,  I am all so blessed.. God I  ask if you are listening to me complaint I have not lost faith, just this is a hard last couple of months.  Please give me just a little more strength to keep on keeping on as momma..