Yes :O) God listens and yes I believe. God has given me the tools, knowledge and has guided me through many obstacles in life. During some of the worse trying days God has alway's been there and listened to me. Sometimes I would wonder why I had to go through days of headaches and worries. Just maybe things happen to me to catch my attention and to stop and pray. Not only pray but put trust when I prayed. This has been a very hard week for me. Doctors appointment with children and it seemed like one doctors appointment after another, next my father being ill and my daughter Samantha having to face surgery. And then to top it off problems with an ATM machine. Almost like a movie I was making a deposited for a thousand dollars we had saved in cash for our adoption. As the money had entered into the machine it had frozen up and the cash disappeared. Like a flash all the money we had worked so hard for was gone and losted in a machine wtih no record of an deposit. At that it point I felt so stupid in what I had done. Putting funds into a machine and trusting it would be deposited and credited to our account. Each dollar was going go towards our children we are adopting. I felt as if I had let them down and knowing we would again have to start all over. That night as I dropped to my knees I ask God please guide me. How can I make up these funds with holidays approaching and also having to still save the remaining funds. I stopped and had to pull out the photos of the two little ones I had not yet met. Inside I knew and said I can not let you both down. Even though this next year we will have to cut back just a little but more and save a little bit more. I will not let you down now or later. Knowing both Gary and I are older and yes probably to some need to retire. Maybe like most people we should justt sit back and rock the remainder of our days away. Well we are not ready for this to happen we still have alot of love to offer and give. Everyone has their own purpose in life. If you don't think you need to think just what the heck is my purpose is. Well my greatest love and pride are my children. Silly to some but I love getting the little crayon photos verses dinners out, or jewelry. I wear on my hand one ring my wedding band and this is all I wish or need.
Yesterday I had posted on my blog how I felt inside about myself as I worried and fought with myself. I was angry at myself and knew I had to slow things down and pray. Nothing else I could do, crying did not help nor did worrying. But finally last night I got on my knees and prayed. Not only prayed but prayed with all of my heart. I ask God to help me through once again with my worries and also our adoption of Braska and Zach. Should these funds not be recovered I knew next we had to work even harder for our children.
In my heart I know that two little ones are our children. As a mother I feel inside their love growing.
I was very fornuate to know what it is like to give birth, I was blessed with 6 children. Unfornuately two of my precious children had died and I never was able to hold or touch either of them. A mother never forgets her child or children and yes I wondered about the both of them. Every mother who loses a child visions of what her child would have looked like. But I know they are in heaven and one day I will be able to hold them. Whether by birth or connected by heart when you are united with your child there is a bond a bond of love. I support adoption and I advocate for children especially children who are orphans. I believe every child should have a family to love them and cherish them. For children are a precious gift from God. And I thank God for guiding Gary and I to our children and permitting us to adopt. And nightly I pray and give thanks for our family.
This Thanksgiving as I watched my father lay helpless in a hospital bed and struggle to live I knew then I needed God's help. God has alway's guided me through some of the roughest days and with each day he has been there next to my side. I know life does not offer a lifetime of enternal life. For it is Heaven that only offers us this. But during this time we have on earth we are to cherish each and every moment with those around us. I believe in paying forward in what I receive. This I learn through my father and our Lord. With all blessings we must in return give back. And we must also not take lightly what blessings we receive.
Today as my daughter Samantha prepared for her surgery and was waiting to be carried back in the operating room I watched. My daughter she laid sleeping peacefully like an infant. It was like the day I first day held her from my womb. Twentyfour years later and no longer an infant. But yet my heart was still beating as fast and strong in love with my child. Only wanting to hold her once again in my arms and keep her safe. As the nurse wheel my daughter Samantha back for surgery my stomach soon ached with worry. A mother worries for her children and no matter the age we still feel the pain whether four or twentyfour. My daughter is will be getting married this June and I watched her husband to be. He was pacing back and forward. I could also tell he was worried to as they wheeled her by. Slowly he bended down and kissed on her head and walked as far as he could walk with her. I knew then that God had sent this young man for my daughter to love and marry. Watching them both I could not help but cry for this is love.
As I return home I had forgotten about my worries over this darn ATM machine. For there are greater things to worry about than money. Ad also knowing what is more important. I saw how money can destory one inside. And it can also can mean the difference for a family to be able to adopt ot having enough. Worrying about money is probably the hardest thing when adopting not having enough money can end your dream. And after the last couple of days reality hit me hard in losing this cash. As the phone rang I thought to myself it must be someone calling to ask about Samantha. To my surprise it was the bank. The issues with the ATM had been resolved and our deposit was finally credited and the temporary credit was no longer needed. This funds that I had deposit were to cover the check I had wrote our agency. And if the deposit had not been corrected we would have to wait some on our other bills and also Christmas presents. Through all of this madness of this ATM, illnesses and surgeries I prayed and prayed. And yes God had listened and answered each of my prayers.
Back in 1987 just a few days prior of Thanksgiving I was told my husband Tim was dying. He was the father to my children and my love. I knew my life would never be the same and much like the day my twins had died I hurt deeply. Knowing in my heart that I may never marry for I had losted the one I had dearly love. Or that I would ever give birth or have any more children I ask God to give me strenghten and guide me through these hard days ahead. During this time my heart ached and cried inside yet God still listen to me and he held me. As I said goodbye to my husband Tim and kissed him the one last time I knew in my heart God had his plans for me. And as I folded up the baby clothes of my twins and gave them to another young mother I knew God had his plans for me. God does not promised each day that they will be filled with happiness and that they be worried free. But with each day we need to give thanks for the blessings that we do receive.
On December 4th it marks the anniversary of 22 years of my husband Tims death. During this 22 years my days have been filled with so many blessings and trials. God to given me my husband Gary and also three sweet children. God still has many plans for me ahead and with each day I will pray for guidance for I know he will always be there.
Today I ask everyone to pray for our two little ones so may we bring them home. I also everyone to share our blog and also pray we have the necessary funds to bring them home. Pray for both of their health during this winter months and also for my children at home to stay healthy..
God Bless Denise Peddington Davis
Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers
